Vaccine✔️: For You, But Really For Me

I received my second Covid-19 vaccine the other day. I was happy to receive it. I feel like it is one step closer to getting life back on track. There has been a lot of changes over the past almost year now, but nothing really seemed to be changing the course direction of the pandemic. And then the vaccine became available. We can have the mask debate and we can have the social distance debate. We can debate all the openings and the shutdowns unit we are blue in the face. Are these debates focused on putting all of this behind us? Along comes the vaccine. I know we can debate the vaccine, as well, but to me the vaccine provides a difference in how we’ve been going about the pandemic all along. In my mind, it finally is something that provides a chance to get back to some form of normalcy. I see it as a good chance. I received the vaccine with you in mind, but it really is for me.

This isn’t meant to spark a debate. This isn’t meant to turn anyone off. This is going to be an example of how my brain has reasoned through this. This is an example of how my brain, which seems to be focused on my mental health, reasons through an option to improve my mental health.

My goal is not to change your mind. I think we have proven, through all of this, that we will not be changing anyone’s minds, on damn near any topic, and that is not my goal here. Believe what you want. This is about where my frustration level is with hearing and reading how people interact with each other over differences. It wasn’t like this in the past.

I do care about other people. I care about their well-being. I care about your well-being. It’s a big reason why I started this blog. I am a nurse after all. I didn’t get into nursing solely for myself, but to help other people. I enjoy trying to help other people. It is something engrained in me and it’s hard for me to turn it off. Sometimes it can become a detriment to me and my mental health, but I really am learning how to balance the two and it is kind of a fun challenge.

I say this as I received my second Covid-19 vaccine the other day. I feel like I have done my part. I feel like I have done my part for humanity and I feel like I have done my part for myself.

I have been the one, throughout the pandemic so far, who has tried to do what is asked of us as far as protecting each other from the spread. I wouldn’t say I have been living in fear. I haven’t been perfect in following all of the mandates all of the time. But I try.

A lot of my depression and anxiety issues revolve around my lovely ability to worry about everything…excessively. I say I haven’t been living in fear, but I’ve gone into overdrive, mostly, in trying to prevent myself from being the problem. I wear my mask. I socially distance. I’ve always washed my hands. I try and respect other peoples beliefs in all of this too.

But I worry. I am not sure I would do good knowing that I had contracted the virus, maybe didn’t even know I did at first, and passed it to someone who is not equipped to battle this virus. My worry goes into overdrive thinking about this, so I try and prevent it the best I can. I do not want to be that person.

It’s led me being more locked down then I normally would have been. I go to work and I return home. Not much else. Yes, I’ve gone to friends and have hung out with others some. I’m not going to sit here and try and paint myself as being perfect, but I really do try and do what I can to prevent myself from being a spreader.

I’ve locked myself down to a point where I don’t really have a desire to go anywhere. I’m not fearful, but I’ve allowed myself to get into the bury-myself-in-my-home attitude. Hard to get into any trouble when you don’t leave. This does and has begun to wear on my mental health though.

I am more introverted than not. It is one thing I have learned about myself over the last year and a half. With this being said, I used to be way better at balancing all of this. I believe the balance has been thrown off by the pandemic.

I have avoided certain situations. It is really easy to use the pandemic and the rules as an excuse to get out of something you don’t want to do or something your social anxiety doesn’t want you to do. I’m tired of avoiding situations. I am so ready for a taste of normal life again.

Enter the vaccine. I was given the ability to receive it and I took it. I work in a number of hospitals and I feel it is my duty to be protected and also protect others as best I can. I got the vaccine for you.

I really got the vaccine for me. No one is going to change anybody’s minds when they are made up to the opposite these days. It does leave me with not always agreeing with where people are in this fight. I’m not dissing you as we all have a right to our own decisions, but I don’t necessarily agree with you. I’m trying to hold onto the old adage of “we can agree to disagree” and it not ruin a relationship with another person. Plus, I’m a terrible debater and so I avoid those situations of the whole prove-I’m-right-and-you-are-wrong arguments.

So, as much as I got it for you, I really got it for me. Yes, I’m being a bit selfish. I crave a chance at getting back to normalcy. The vaccine, to me, provides a chance to start getting there. Believe what you want, but I see this as a way for me to get back to seeing some live music again. It allows me to get back to the ocean and to the Caribbean where my wife and I unwind the best.

We all need a mental health boost from time to time. Getting the vaccine has provided a boost for me. It gives me hope. Hope is a big thing and a big motivator in the mental health game. We need hope. We need to hope our lives will get better. We need hope to ensure we stay on the better and stronger side of our minds.

Do what you want. Say what you want. I did what I thought was best for me and my life. I did what I thought was best for me to get back to my normal life again. Will anything be like it was again? Probably not entirely, but we can get back to not having to worry about each other, our safety and the ability to squash this horrible time in our lives.

I did what I thought would be best for my mental health. I’m always up for a boost and a lift and the ability to get the vaccine has taken me there. I have hope again. It was getting hard to have hope, at least where this pandemic is concerned and now I feel like I’ve done something to give myself hope.

Again, I got the vaccine for you, but I really did it for me. It is my opinion that we should all get it, but I’m going to love you no matter what you think. I’m tired of the constant fighting amongst people. I’m tired enough of it that I have to push it aside and worry more about me. I’m proud to have gotten the vaccine and I feel it is the right thing for me and my mental health.

Who isn’t ready for a taste of normal life again? I know I’m not in alone in thinking this. I wish we could just wish the past year away and things could be as they were before all of this, but that’s not happening. We have to make the best of what is in front of us. We have to do what we can to carve out a good path and have a good picture in our minds of what normal is again. We need to have hope.

I got this! You got this! We got this! It’s OK to not be OK, but keep moving forward!

Have a great day!

Jason

Hot off the press!! I have started a website which combines my blogs, podcasts, and other methods of dealing with our mental health and provide inspiration and hope. It is meant to be a relaxing place to stop by and refuel. So far, it is basic, but I have ideas to make it grow into something much bigger. Please check it out!

Jason Kehl’s Basement Of Jams: Rocking Mental Health

www.rockingmentalhealth.com

Feel free to jump over to Facebook and join the group I’ve started:

Jason Kehl’s Basement Of Jams: Rocking Mental Health

www.facebook.com/groups/rockingmentalhealth

This group is meant to focus on an “everybody in” type of focus. I share my music and also this blog there amongst other things. The music I share is instrumental (I am not a singer). I try and attach a positive message to each tune. I also encourage others to share their hobbies or anything that they like to do that makes them happy. Or share anything that is working for them. A place where we can get away from things for a while. A group approach to improving each others mental health!

I’ve also started a podcast in hopes that my desire to spread mental health awareness can reach more people.

Jason Kehl’s Basement Of Jams: Rocking Mental Health

https://rockingmentalhealth.buzzsprout.com/

Also on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google, Amazon Music, and Pandora

Please check it out and feel free to share it as well.

Published by Jason Kehl

Nurse, artist, musician. One I have done professionally and two that I have not😉. I enjoy creating art and music as a hobby. I do it mostly because it helps me to feel better or express something that I feel inside. I am a believer in Mental Health Awareness. My goal is to throw myself out there in hopes that someone sees it and can gain the strength to seek help or keep working on themselves. We are an unfinished product! That's OK!

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